In New England, the days grow shorter and the warmth of the sun fades to the cruel cold of winter. Many of my friends are blinded by the majesty of Pumpkin flavored everything, the spirit of Halloween, and the historical significance Thanks Giving can hold for people from New England (Mass especially). People from out of the area love the scenery and the tourism that Autumn offers, but don’t know it as well as those who were raised here. Personally, my favorite season is Summer and I’d love to move to a state where it’s above 70 degrees year round because I can’t stand cold weather.

However, New England is where I’ve lived my whole life and probably where I want to go when I get buried many decades from now. I still need to travel to many other majestic locations around the US and around the world. But for right now, I am happy to have a full-time job and to be alive. I still feel a lot of angst over being single, but I think I’ve accepted my plight in that I just should be patient, meet new people, and see what happens. My FB friends would know I’ve been complaining a lot about my personal life as of late because I was loosing patience, but thanks to their help I’ve found my center again and I will continue to see how things go.

A few hours ago I was playing my bass along to the isolated bass track to “Schism” by Tool, and I put my bass down feeling depressed. I was depressed that I’ve spent a year learning a song that I don’t even care much about anymore (there are many BETTER songs by Tool). A little bit later as I was waiting for my small pizza to be delivered for dinner, I went on Facebook and found this video on the Breaking Benjamin FB page: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151932163383168

It’s a solo guitar and vocal video of Ben Burnley playing the single “Dear Agony” from their 2009 album of the same name. I hated the song when it first came out, but in retrospect the lyrics speak to my inner pain that I’ve experienced over the last eight months. This performance moved me very heavily as I just want to sing in unison with the singer and express my feelings to the world. And as that vision occurs to me, I also realize that I have the dual gifts of my words and my voice to express how I feel, and who I am to everyone.

I love music, and it loves me. Though the days grow shorter and colder, I know that music will always be there for me; for it is the only art medium that I know that can appeal to multiple human senses and emotions.

-Tatteybye