The Top Five Worst Songs of 2014 (Thus Far)

*Warning: sexually explicit language and imagery in this blog post*

So I got around to the follow-up, just a lot later than anticipated. That’s not really a problem though since horrible music has always been around, and always will be (just look at most of last year’s hits as proof). I’m happy to say that I had a harder time picking out terrible songs this year than I did last year, so things are still great in my eyes (even if rock music isn’t a chart topper anymore). Some of my opinions could shift by the end of the year, but that’s then and this is now. Also, I have no ill feelings towards the artists mentioned here as people, what I disagree with on this blog is on an artistic level. So now begins my list of my top least favorite songs of the year so far!

5. “Fancy” by Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX

It was inevitable that I would write about this song considering how much it was overplayed during the summer and how Iggy gained her fame this year seemingly overnight. I really dislike this song because it’s driven off of the same repetitive synth riff and that lame crowd sample that artists have overused this year. And to be honest, when I first heard this song I would have had no idea Iggy was Australian, but rather an independent black female rapper from LA. I’m not going to preach whether Iggy’s rapping is racist though because as a white male, I don’t feel qualified to talk about what African-Americans have to face day-to-day in their struggles. What I do know is that this song’s a horrible pain to my ears.

4. “Wiggle” by Jason Derulo ft. Snoop Dogg

So it seems that this miserable excuse of a hip-hop song has twerked worked its way into my blog. For good reason; it’s boring as all hell with an incredibly slow beat, an only somewhat catchy pan-flute melody, and the most boring chorus I’ve heard in my whole life. My main objection is I just feel like a song about a women doing an erotic dance should be at a tempo that an erotic woman would actually dance too (#logic!) The only part of the I do actually enjoy is around the 2:40 mark where Derulo starts singing with rising chords and harmony in the background, but then soon drops back to the lack luster hook of the song. Of course there is a lot objectification of women’s bottoms in the song, but this also isn’t my fight. I won’t talk about how sexist the music industry exists as a whole as there are more eloquent and experienced (female) bloggers who can do that (even though I did just point out the issue). As a music journalist, I can only witness the new trends and keep praying that someday that better songs than this one will get notoriety.

3. “Anaconda” by Nicki Minaj

Yet another Twerking song that’s had some pretty big notoriety this year. I just want to point out that this song never “butchered a classic rap song”, it sampled a joke from the 90s and turned it into a joke song for today. My main objection to this song is the poor quality of the music, not the sexual imagery (since people’s bodies are nothing to be ashamed of). Every time this song comes on the radio I immediately change the station because it causes me cognitive dissonance because it sounds so dissonant and how the tempo drags, a feeling I haven’t since listening to Ke$ha’s “Dinosaur”. I despise this song by default, but I still respect Nicki Minaj’s sense of humor for remixing the song and how she reacts towards her critics.

2. “Blame” by Calvin Harris ft. John Newman

To make things clear, I actually enjoy most of the music in this song. What I object too is how computerized (auto-tuned) Calvin’s voice sounds here. It would have made this so much better if it was sung in a more natural way, but everything is shifting to digital these days so much that they have robots who can play the trumpet now (look that up on Youtube if you want proof). Auto-tune has its place to help correct mistakes and be used in a stylistic manner, but too much auto-tune is like putting too much salt on your fries; you’re ruining the taste of the whole experience! So I don’t outright hate this song  as I do enjoy listening to it, I just feel the vocal mixing should have been handled much better.

1. “Trumpets” by Jason Derulo

Speaking of trumpets, I put this ahead of Anaconda and the others because this particular song annoys me to no end. I get that this is a love song and the intention is  having Derul praise the beauty of his lover, but the instrumentation is plain bland and the lyrics are lazy at best (“your bra remind[s] me of a Katy Perry song”??) I should also mention that trumpets used in a symphony setting sound very different from the ones played here since this trumpet is playing a pop dance hook, not classical music. I’m also pretty sure that actually isn’t a real trumpet in the song, but a poor quality imitation by a synthesizer. If you want to hear a quality love song by Jason Derulo, check out his song “Marry Me” that he released last year and let “Trumpets” fade into obscurity.

So here are my least favorite songs this year, generally what I dislike about these types of songs are that they are either not very creative, are of a vulgar audio quality, or if they just don’t catch my interest. If you love these songs then don’t let me stop you, but also understand it annoys me that I have to hear these songs in public all of the time. I’ll have more musings in my annual Fill in The Blanks Music Awards in December. If you have any song recommendations for me to praise or rip apart, then let me know in the comments!

-Tatteybye

My Top 5 Favorite Songs of The Year (So Far)

It’s been quite some time since I’ve actually posted about the songs I’ve enjoyed and didn’t enjoy this year. At any rate, these songs span a few genres of songs I enjoyed this year. So without further ado I’ll go into my conquest of Walgreens, I mean, my favorite songs this year.

5. Sia “Chandelier”-

I don’t normally go for these type of late 2000’s club dance songs, but the chorus in this song is pretty damn majestic. I love how well Sia emotes how she wants to live a free live and soar like a bird, even though the song describes the burnout life style of a party girl. I first heard of Sia  when she performed “Titanium” with David Guetta, and needless to say “Chandelier” blows “Titanium” straight out of the water.

4. Charli XCX- “Boom Clap”

The only part of this song I dislike is the opening with “boom boom clap” with the synth bass that sounds like a hovercraft, but as soon as Charli enters with the vocals it turns into a very enjoyable song. Judging by the video it looks like this song was written for The Fault in Our Stars OST, which is interesting since I didn’t bother watching the film yet since I don’t bother with what I deem to be “chick-flicks”. That said, the song also has a really great chorus to it that I enjoy due to the accented bass and the chorus of background voices. It seems like most pop songs of the decade save the “money hook” for the chorus in each piece, which gets old fast, but can work if it sound awesome. If any of you think I should check the Fault in Our Stars then I will, but I will probably need to read the book first.

3. Nico & Vinz “Am I Wrong”

Unlike the two previous titles, I enjoy this song all the way through because it’s down tempo and very laid back despite how the song is about a man pleading his lover to stay with him. I enjoy the singing in the chorus, the steady beat, the bridge toward the middle of the song, and the overall feel of the song. Not bad at all, I might award this top pop song in December on my third “Fill in the Blank” music awards blog.

2. Lacuna Coil “I Forgive (But I Won’t Forget Your Name)”

A big contrast to the previous three songs, it’s only natural for me to include at least one hard rock song on my list. I’ve always loved Lacuna Coil since for Christina Sacbbia’s haunting contralto vocals, and their songs really fit the spirit of Halloween (seeing as this IS October). The song from what I can gather is about forgiving an aggressor, but not forgetting what they did to you. It’s pretty badass overall since it sounds very haunting and builds to a great climax in the chorus.

1. Five Finger Death Punch “The Wrong Side of Heaven”

The biggest contrast to the previous four, this song hits me right in the gut with its amazing instrumentation and it’s PSA style music video about displaced and mistreated veterans. The intro grabs you, the chorus packs a great punch, the solo is trippy and saddening at the same, and the screams are used for dramatic tension. I’ve loved this song since it came out last year,and I think it has a lot of replay value to it. And as the kids from my generation say, it hits me with “DEM FEELS.”

So there is my list for today, I’ll write a list of my least favorite songs this year so far tomorrow. If there are any songs that you would like for me to check out for my awards blog in December, then leave a request in the comments!

-Tatteybye